01 Nov Raising Children – Lessons From Luqman
Raising children – a topic which needs much discussion. In this day and age, raising children is no walk in the park, it never really was! But raising children in a good Islamic manner is proving to be more difficult currently in the 21st century. How do we ensure we are giving our children the best tarbiyyah? Where do we go in order to gain information on how to raise our children in the best of manners? The answer is simple. Allah azza wa jall has provided us with ample advice in His beautiful Qur’an. Where better to look? And one of the best advices given in the Qur’an is regarding the story of Luqman – the one regarding whom Allah says:
وَلَقَدْ آتَيْنَا لُقْمَانَ الْحِكْمَةَ
And verily We bestowed upon Luqman wisdom (31:12)
If Allah has told us that He has bestowed wisdom upon someone, then should we not envisage to follow the lessons we are taught through their story?
One of the first advices Luqman gives to his son is regarding shirk. Allah says in the Qur’an
وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَانُ لِابْنِهِ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّه
ِAnd when Luqman said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allah.” (31:13)
A beautiful point to ponder over here is the manner in which Luqman speaks to his son. The specific Arabic words used in order to address his son make up a phrase which shows affection when addressing one’s child. This teaches us a valuable lesson – the manner in which we speak to our children is very important. We must be affectionate, just as Luqman was to his son. Even whilst advising them when they have slipped, we must stay calm and composed. Discipline is important, yes, but it must be done in the right way. We can learn the correct manner simply by looking into the Qur’an. Furthermore, if we continue to read the ayah that follows this one in surah Luqman, we will find that every time Luqman addresses his son, he addresses him in the same manner – with such love and affection – something that many parents fall short in today. Speaking to the child with love and affection will make them more likely to listen to our advice. So why do we become lazy in this regard?
Luqman further goes on to say:
يبُنَىَّ اِنَّهَاۤ اِنۡ تَكُ مِثۡقَالَ حَبَّةٍ مِّنۡ خَرۡدَلٍ فَتَكُنۡ فِىۡ صَخۡرَةٍ اَوۡ فِى السَّمٰوٰتِ اَوۡ فِى الۡاَرۡضِ يَاۡتِ بِهَا اللّٰهُ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ لَطِيۡفٌ خَبِيۡرٌ
(Luqman said): Son, Allah will bring forth everything even if it be as small as the grain of a mustard seed even though it be hidden inside a rock or (anywhere) in the heavens or earth. Allah is Most Subtle, All-Aware. (31:16)
Here, we see Luqman using examples to explain to his son, again furthering us in our knowledge on how to raise children. Everything won’t always be black and white, we need to add colour in order to make the children see sometimes. We also see him using different attributes of Allah, thus showing the importance of teaching our children the names and attributes of Allah. This will, Insha’Allah increase them in their understanding and piety, as they learn more about their Creator.
In another ayah, Luqman says:
يٰبُنَىَّ اَقِمِ الصَّلٰوةَ وَاۡمُرۡ بِالۡمَعۡرُوۡفِ وَانۡهَ عَنِ الۡمُنۡكَرِ وَاصۡبِرۡ عَلٰى مَاۤ اَصَابَكَ ؕ اِنَّ ذٰلِكَ مِنۡ عَزۡمِ الۡاُمُوۡرِ
Son, establish Prayer, enjoin all that is good and forbid all that is evil, and endure with patience whatever affliction befalls you. Surely these have been emphatically enjoined (31:17)
Here, we see Luqman giving great importance to Salah – one of the pillars of Islam. Nowadays, it is very important to instill love and yearning for Salah in the child. Because it’s not easy to stand up in school in front of many non-Muslims to pray. Many children feel embarrassed and due to this, they forgo their salah in order to save themselves the perceived ‘humiliation’. Yet, if we, as parents, do our part and instil that love and reverence of Salah in the hearts of the child, they will feel no such embarrassment, Insha’Allah.
There are many more lessons to be learnt from the beautiful advice Luqman gives his son. Therefore, studying surah Luqman further is much encouraged in order to learn more lessons on raising children. The Qur’an is timeless, and so are its’ lessons. Therefore, the lessons we take from here are still applicable today in this day and age as well.
May Allah swt grant us all the tawfeeq to raise our children in the best of manners, in the sight of Allah, Ameen.
Noor Ul Islam Aalimah Department
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The Prophet (Pbuh) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small.